Kingdom Marriage Series: Episode Nine

Hi guys, welcome back. 

In case you didn't notice, there was an unplanned and unintentional three-day break. I planned to feature a couple each day this month, but some of the stories have been delayed, hence the break. But don't worry, I'll try to make it up to you. Just ensure you read and learn as much as you can from these series.

Speaking of which, if you missed the previous episode, quickly catch up on it here. 

Today, I'm featuring another amazing couple. They've been married for four years and they have a lot to tell you. Hear from them. 

Nancita: Please introduce yourselves. 

Mr.: I'm Eyeyeh Japhet.

Mrs.: I'm Eyeyeh Virtue. 

Our marriage will be 4 years by June 2024. 

Nancita: How did you meet?

Both: We met in fellowship in the university.

Nancita: Was he/she your spec at first sight?

Mr.: She had been an amazing friend, so, yeah.

Mrs.: Not exactly; I didn't have any spec, though.

Nancita: What are the non-negotiable qualities you found in your spouse?

Mr.: She's understanding.

Mrs.: He's understanding and he communicates well.

Nancita: What does a kingdom marriage mean to you?

Mr: A kingdom marriage is a family where the values of Christ are exalted and passed down to the offspring. The offspring are important to me because they are the first marks of the things happening in the family.

Mrs: A kingdom marriage is one that honours God and does His will.

Nancita: What is your view about God's will in marriage?

Mr.: I am God’s child; I seek His will, and He knows that I do seek His desire. Marriage is one of those things too. The will of God in marriage is the same way as every other part of our lives.

Mrs.: God's will for marriage is for Him to be glorified.

Nancita: How did you become convinced that you made the right choice?

Mr.: We had been friends for over 4 years at the time, and we were already out of school.

I had known her well. I knew her when there wasn’t a relationship in sight. She is a good young lady. There wasn’t much to be convinced about, there was no struggle.

Mrs.: I had peace in my spirit.

Nancita: How did you prepare for marriage, and when did you start?

Mr.: Preparing for marriage started right from my school days. I always wanted to be a good man and a great husband. I wanted to make sure my wife would be glad that she married me. It’s a life goal for me.

Mrs.: I read books on marriage; I had real-life experiences of some people’s marriages. I started preparing for marriage as a young lady.

Nancita: Mr. Japhet, how did you ask her to be your girlfriend/wife?

Like I said, it was a couple of years after school. Somehow, (by divine orchestration), we had drawn closer this time. I simply asked her out and said I wanted to be married to her at the same time.

Nancita: Mrs. Virtue, how did you respond? Were you surprised, or did you see it coming?

Yes, I was surprised, I didn't expect it.

Nancita: How long did you court? Describe your courtship. Did you have misunderstandings during courtship? 

Mr.: We courted for 2 years and 7 months, and we didn’t have any misunderstandings at all till about a month before our wedding. Wedding preparation matters, lol.

Mrs.: Our courtship was two years, we had little misunderstandings only during the wedding preparations.

Nancita: I can relate to that wedding preparation stress. So how did you resolve them? 

Mr.: They were not personal; we knew it was part of the wedding fever; they passed away naturally.

Mrs: We resolved them by communicating and understanding each other.

Nancita: What was the role of your local assembly in your courtship?

Mr.: I was well respected in my church. I introduced her to my pastors when it was about 6 months before the wedding, and we had pre-marriage counseling in her church.

Mrs.: They counseled us for six months.

Nancita: Do you encourage pre-marriage counseling?

Mr.: Yes, I do.

Mrs.: Yeah.

Nancita: What resources do you recommend for courtship and marriage preparation?

Mr.: I recommend the book Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Got Married by Gary Chapman.

Mrs.: I recommend marriage counseling for six months. 

Nancita: What kind of wedding did you have? Was it your dream wedding?

Mr.: Well, I wasn’t particular about the wedding, I had none in mind. So, it was fine for me. We had it during the thick of the COVID in 2020, so there were so many restrictions. But we did the best we could with it.

Mrs: The wedding was bigger than planned, but it may have been bigger if not for COVID; it was not my dream wedding, but it was perfect.

Nancita: COVID changed a lot and affected so much. But thank God you still had a perfect wedding. So how has married life been?

Mr.: It has been amazing, Everything I imagined and more.

Mrs.: Beautiful; it hasn't been full of roses, though, but it has been a beautiful journey with no regrets.

Nancita: What was your greatest culture shock?

Mr.: None.

Mrs.: None, really, I had little expectations.

Nancita: What got better when you got married?

Mr.: I became better at financial planning.

Mrs.: I became stronger and planned deliberately.

Nancita: What do you enjoy doing together the most?

Mr.: Gisting and keeping each other company.

Mrs.: Eating and keeping each other company.

Nancita: Do you miss being single? If yes, what do you miss?

Mr.: I miss being able to stay out with my guys and not think of coming home.

Mrs.: No, and yes. Yes, because I rarely have me-time.

Nancita: What does love and submission mean to you?

Mr.: Honestly, in my case, I can’t define these things. We are two friends who love each other and live together. We have mutual respect.

Mrs.: Love is sacrificial and understanding, and it involves putting the other person first. Submission is accepting his option even if I may not be comfortable with it.

Nancita: How do you navigate challenges?

Mr.: By being hopeful and staying positive. I ensure that I find the little lights in the challenges and appreciate God that those lights are still there.

Mrs.: By being grateful and hopeful. Also, by praying and praising God.

Nancita: Write a love note to her: 

You're my love, life, and everything in between.

Nancita: Write a love note to him: 

You are my sugar bobo today and forever. I love you with my whole being and will love you forever.

Nancita: What is your advice for singles and intending couples?

Mr.: Be a good person; everything else flows from there.

Mrs.: Singles, marry your friend; you'll be stuck with each other forever, even in challenges and misunderstandings. Contentment and gratitude will help you a whole lot.

Intending couples, respect and appreciate each other, Vocalize your love for each other and be intentional about each other. Contentment and gratitude will help you a whole lot.

Thank you for reading; you can share your favourite part of this story in the comments section. See you in the next episode.

Love and Light,

Nancita💓