Kingdom Marriage Series: Episode One

Dear Blog Readers, I greet you in the name of the Lord.

It's been what? A whole eight months! I know you missed me, here I am now. Plus, I missed you too, but life has been so busy. Anyway, I'm back, and I'm here for something exciting. 

So it's the month of February, a.k.a, the month of love, and there'll be a series of interesting posts this month. It will run throughout the month, beginning from today. I bet you can guess what it is about already. Well, you guessed right. So, let's call this the Kingdom Marriage Series. I'll be featuring a couple of kingdom marriages. I reached out to them with some questions about Christian courtship and kingdom marriage, and they delivered.

The goal is to put Jesus in the spotlight and highlight His role in courtship and marriage. I know there's a lot of pressure out there for singles. We're not trying to add to the pressure or contribute to the 'God when' chorus. Instead, we want to give you more reasons to follow God's lead concerning your marriage. Trust me, God wants to lead you well. He has done so with so many others before you, and you'll read their stories in a bit.

As much as you can, jot down nuggets as you read. They'll come in handy in the coming days. I have no doubt that this series will inspire you. Let's get into it, shall we? 

The first interview is with Dr. Alfred and Mrs. Adeola Atiba. They've been married for over a decade and are blessed with three amazing children. Let's hear from them.

Nancita: Please introduce yourselves. 

Mr: I'm Dr. Alfred Adeniyi Atiba.

Mrs: I'm Adeola Omotoke Atiba. 

We got married on October 9th, 2010. We've been married for 13 years. It will be 14 years on October 9th, 2024.

Nancita: Wow! 13 years is a long time. How did you meet?

Mr: I saw her in my Pastor's church, Triumphant Assembly Ijokodo junction, back then on my first day of showing up for choir rehearsals. I said to myself this is Pastor's wife material.

Mrs: We met in church while I was cleaning in the church.

Nancita: Pastor's wife material? Interesting. Was he/she your spec at first sight?

Mr: No.

Mrs: No.

Nancita: You weren't each other's spec at first sight. So what are the non-negotiable qualities you found in your spouse?

Mr: She's unstoppable when she's committed to something.

Mrs: Truthfulness. 

Nancita: What does kingdom marriage mean to you?

Mr: Kingdom marriage is built on the principles of God and is completely submitted to the leadership of Jesus Christ.

Mrs: Kingdom marriage based on the principles of God's word.

Nancita: What is your view about God's will in marriage?

Mr: God is the only one who truly knows the best life partner for anyone. His will is a must for us to unravel so we can enjoy the best things in life. He said I know the thoughts I have towards you. Thoughts of good and not evil to bring you to a prosperous end.

Mrs:  To submit to my husband and be there to support him always.

Nancita: How did you become convinced that you made the right choice?

Mr: I had an inner conviction of peace.

Mrs: I saw him in my prayer.

Nancita: How did you prepare for marriage, and when did you start?

Mr: I prayed and prayed till I had peace. I told her my intention, and then we informed everyone who was a stakeholder.

Mrs:  We spoke to our pastor about our intentions, and we started planning a few months after we got engaged.  

Nancita: Dr. Alfred, how did you ask her to be your girlfriend/wife?

I was straightforward about it. I told her I wanted to marry her. She didn't agree at first, but I knew she would. She loved me, and I knew it.

Nancita: Mrs Adeola, how did you respond? Were you surprised, or did you see it coming?

I saw it coming, but as the lady, I did some shakara.

Nancita: How long did you court? Describe your courtship. Did you have misunderstandings during courtship? 

Mr: Our courtship had loads of misunderstandings, but we went through all of them. That's understandable because our philosophies were widely different.

Mrs: We courted for about 6 months. Yes, we had misunderstandings.

Nancita: How did you resolve them? 

Mr: We kept talking and talking. Sometimes, we asked for advice from mentors.

Mrs: We settled it or talked to our pastor about it

Nancita: What was the role of your local assembly in your courtship?

Mr: They ensured that we laid the proper foundation for our marriage.

Mrs: They ensured they watched after us.

Nancita: Do you encourage pre-marriage counseling?

Mr: Oh YES!!!

Mrs: Yes.

Nancita: What resources do you recommend for courtship and marriage preparation?

Mr: I recommend the books "Why You Act the Way You Do" by Tim Lahaye and "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus" by John Gray. And also, all books on marriage by Dr. Albert Oduwole.

Mrs: Listening to sermons on relationships and attending singles meetings.

Nancita: What kind of wedding did you have? Was it your dream wedding?

Mr: Not quite, but it was a great start.

Mrs: No.

Nancita: How has married life been?

Mr: It has revealed a lot to me.  

Mrs: It has been sweet and interesting.

Nancita: What was your greatest culture shock?

Mr: None.

Mrs: None.

Nancita: What got better when you got married?

Mr: I became better with people management.

Mrs:  My level of accountability improved. 

Nancita: What do you enjoy doing together the most?

Mr: Hanging out together.

Mrs: Gisting.

Nancita: Do you miss being single? If yes, what do you miss?

Mr: No.

Mrs: Yes. I miss not having to cook when I don't feel like it. 

Nancita: What does love and submission mean to you?

Mr: Love means sacrifice. Submission means accountability and openness.

Mrs: It is a must.

Nancita: How do you navigate challenges?

Mr: I pray for wisdom and then discuss it with my wife.

Mrs: We discuss about it.

Nancita: Write a love note to her:

You are the most amazing person I know. Thanks for your sacrifices for our family and your heart of gold. I Love you, Omolewa.

Nancita: Write a love note to him: 

Thank you for all do. I love you to the moon and back.

Nancita: What do you advise singles and intending couples?

Mr: Know who you want to spend the rest of your life with very well. Investigate them well before saying I do. If you don't trust someone, don't marry them. In marriage, know that your partner is first before anyone else. Make their care your first priority. Talk about everything with him or her. Ensure that you pray and study together. Let God be your leader, and you will be in peace. Shalom.

Mrs: I advise that the men love their wives, and submission is not negotiable for the wives. 

Nancita: Do you want to tell us something else? 

Both: No.

Nancita: Thank you so much for participating in this. I enjoyed reading your response.😁

That was interesting and educative. I hope you learnt a thing or ten. There's more for you in the next episode. See you there 😊

Love and Light,

Nancita✨