Kingdom Marriage Series: Episode Five

Hi guys, how do you do?

I'm here again for another episode of the Kingdom Marriage Series. Have you been following this series? If yes, I'm sure you have learnt a lot already. We've had four previous episodes. Today's the fifth one and we'll get right into it in a bit. 

Hope you brought your journal and pen along? No point should fly past your head o. Don't say I didn't tell you. By the way, this episode is particularly interesting because the wife...

You know what? You should discover that by yourself! Ready? Let's go!

Nancita: Please introduce yourselves. 

Mr: Anonymous. 

Mrs: Anonymous.

We've been married for a little over two months.

Nancita: How did you meet?

Mr: I met her in my father's house.

Mrs: I met him in his father's house. My brother and I went to visit his parents. His parents are my parents spiritual parents. He was back from Lagos at the time and was staying with his parents when we visited.

Nancita: Was he/she your spec at first sight?

Mr: That was not on my mind at first.

Mrs: I thought he was rude at first sight. He called me a child!

Nancita: Lol. But you're his baby now na. So what non-negotiable qualities did you find in your spouse?

Mr: She is generally a good person.

Mrs: He is calm, loves and fears God.

Nancita: What does a kingdom marriage mean to you?

Mr: A kingdom marriage is one in which God is the basis of the relationship.

Mrs: A kingdom marriage is where God is the main man in the marriage. 

Nancita: How did you become convinced that you made the right choice?

Mr: I had peace with my choice.

Mrs: Peace!

Nancita: How did you prepare for marriage, and when did you start?

Mr: I prayed, read books, and had counselling. I started praying quite early. Counselling and books came when I knew it was in view.

Mrs: I read books, attended seminars, had counselling, prayed about marriage, and how to raise children too. I started all these for knowledge at first; I just didn't want a repeat of some mistakes I saw my parents make. No one wants a repeat of someone else's mistakes. That was what initially pushed me to learn about marriage. I started around age 17 or so.

Nancita: How did you ask her to be your girlfriend/wife?

As a girlfriend, she asked me to be her boyfriend which I was already interested in. As a wife, we had always had the discussion. I only gave her a ring when we were ready to settle.

Nancita: Wow. It's interesting to know that you did the asking. Why did you take that step? 

Actually, I asked him to be my boyfriend because I thought he was taking too much time. And right from the beginning, we always had discussions about marriage. 

Then he proposed with a ring!!! I didn't see that coming honestly, I was shocked.

Nancita: How long did you court? Describe your courtship. Did you have misunderstandings during courtship? 

Mr: We courted for 5 years. Our relationship was a long-distanced one. Yes, we had misunderstandings. 

Mrs: 5 years, long distance. Yes, we had some misunderstandings.

Nancita: I know that long-distance relationships take a lot more work than other relationships. How did you guys resolve those misunderstandings? 

Mr.: I discovered that video calls helped me to express myself better unlike chats or voice calls. I also apologised when necessary too.

Mrs.: We figured having video calls was better; we barely had misunderstandings whenever we were together. The long-distance thing was not fun, I'm not gonna lie.

Nancita: What was the role of your local assembly in your courtship?

Mr: Support, counselling, gifts, prayers.

Mrs: Counseling, lots of love and prayers.

Nancita: Do you encourage pre-marriage counseling?

Mr: Absolutely!

Mrs: Yes, yes.

Nancita: What resources do you recommend for courtship and marriage preparation?

Mr: The Bible and the right counseling. 

Mrs: Please listen to Pastor Kingsley and Mildred Okonkwo on YouTube. Also, the book “Things I Wished I'd Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman” is a must-read. Counselling helps too.

Nancita: What kind of wedding did you have? Was it your dream wedding?

Mr: I didn't have a dream wedding. I wanted what she wanted. However, a small wedding was on our minds.

Mrs: No!!!! It was our parent's dream wedding. Although we had fun, and it was lovely, thank God. But I had always wanted something really small, same as my husband. Family and friends kind of thing. But no! We were dealing with Yoruba parents. Phew!!!

Nancita: How has married life been?

Mr: Peaceful.

Mrs: I highly recommend!!!!

Nancita: What was your greatest culture shock?

Mr: I have had none. I believe we're more alike than opposite.

Mrs: None actually.

Nancita: What got better when you got married?

Mr: It has only been 2 months. I have peace; that's all that matters.

Mrs: Everything!!!!! I eat without feeling guilty, my sleeping pattern has improved! My prayer and Bible study too. Sometimes the reminder that I'm now a married woman gives me goosebumps, as in wifeeee...eii God. Lol.

Nancita: What do you enjoy doing together the most?

Mr: Just being with her is enjoyable.

Mrs: Everything!!!! Especially movie nights, maybe because we didn't get to do that during courtship.

Nancita: Do you miss being single? If yes, what do you miss?

Mr: No.

Mrs: No!

Nancita: What does love and submission mean to you?

Mr: I believe I'm to do this as to the Lord.

Mrs: Love and submission should be done according to what the Bible says, not what culture says. It should be a nature, not a task or a job.

Nancita: How do you navigate challenges?

Mr: Through communication and prayer.

Mrs: Through communication and prayer.

Nancita: Write a love note to her: 

Thank you for giving me peace so far. I love you.

Nancita: Write a love note to him: 

Thank you for being a fantastic friend. I love you so much.

Nancita: What is your advice for singles and intending couples?

Mr: It's not a crime to be single. Shine your eyes when you are ready. Intending couples should communicate well about everything. Please pray well too.

Mrs: As singles, please enjoy your singlehood, don't entertain nonsense 'cause you don't want to be single. It's not too early to start praying about your marriage, children, and everything. 

Intending couples should prepare for marriage in every way possible. Learn about marriage, pray, and talk to your partner about everything.

Nancita: Do you want to tell us something else?

Yes. Communication is essential in a relationship as much as prayer is. Please talk to one another about every single thing, your expectations, your goals, everything. 

I don't know why, but I found it interesting that the wife asked him to be her boyfriend 😂. She said he was taking too long 😂 Would you have done that if you were in her shoes? Lemme know in the comment section. Plus, catch up on the previous episode here. See you tomorrow and next tomorrow.

Love and Light,

Nancita✨