Kingdom Marriage Series: Episode Eleven

Hi, guys. How are you today?

Hope you've been enjoying these series? Today's couple have been married for four months. Even though they think their marriage is still young, I believe we can learn some things from them. So get your pen and journal and dive in.

Nancita: Please introduce yourselves. 

Mr: I'm Segun Oduro.

Mrs: I'm Hephzibah Oduro. We've been married for about 4 months now.

Nancita: How did you meet?

Both:  We met at Ekosodin in Uniben.

Nancita: Was he/she your spec at first sight?

Mr:  Yes.

Mrs: No.

Nancita: What are the non-negotiable qualities you found in your spouse?

Mr: Her simplicity.

Mrs: His consistency. 

Nancita: What does a kingdom marriage mean to you?

Mr: A kingdom marriage basically means God being the centre of the union and both of us doing marriage by the scriptures. 

Mrs: Adding to my husband's words, a kingdom marriage is beyond the couple. There is always an area of service attached to your union.

Nancita: What is your view about God's will in marriage?

Mr: There is no one woman meant for you and vice versa. But it is essential that God leads you to whoever you choose to marry. 

Mrs: Same view as his.

Nancita: How did you become convinced that you made the right choice?

Mr: Being a very private person, I observed having her in my corner did not distort anything. Loving her was very natural to me. I didn’t have to try to do anything. 

Mrs:  Well, through the years, I met many people. But what stood out in Segun was that his heart for me was consistent throughout the years. Many people came around for what they could see on the outside, but the young man was very interested in who I was, so that stood out for me. 

Nancita: How did you prepare for marriage, and when did you start?

Mr: It’s not quite clear, is it marriage or wedding?

Because, if it’s marriage, you keep preparing for marriage all your single years. So, that holds a lot of experience. But for the wedding, we started preparations as early as February 2023.

Mrs: Same reply.

Nancita: How did you ask her to be your girlfriend/wife? 

Well, at the time, our locations were far apart. So, it was via chats and video calls.

Nancita: How did you respond? Were you surprised, or did you see it coming? 

He will still do another proposal sha, because virtual proposal is not proposal.

Well, I saw it coming. We were talking that day and then the conversations became more intimate and serious, that’s when I knew where it was going.

Nancita: How long did you court? Describe your courtship. 

Mr: The grammar to explain how our courtship was will fail me ooo. We courted for about 6 months.

Mrs: Same reply.

Nancita: How did you resolve misunderstandings during courtship?  

Mr:  To a very large extent, I understand Hephzibah. So I could understand her tantrums many times. I always told her we should talk immediately when something was wrong.

Mrs: Haha… Well, he does a great job in handling conflicts. He tries to deal with the matter exclusively of me. What I mean is that he does not address me according to my actions. He likes peace ehn, so I had to learn to voice out rather than sulk, expecting him to read my mind. And the truth is that we didn’t have to deal with so many conflicts.

Nancita: What was the role of your local assembly in your courtship?

Mr:  I told my pastor about her.

Mrs: I attended programs that were put together for singles and married people. 

Nancita: Do you encourage pre-marriage counselling?

Mr:  Yes Yes Yes.

Mrs:  Yes.

Nancita: What resources do you recommend for courtship and marriage preparation?

Mr:  Books and first-hand experiences from older couples that you trust.

Mrs: I have read quite several books, and you can also not read enough. So books are important, as well as first-hand experiences.

Nancita: What kind of wedding did you have? Was it your dream wedding?

Mr: Weddings are for women o.

Mrs: Hahaha….I had a great wedding. I have always wanted something simple because I don't like stress and glory to God; we were able to achieve that.

Nancita: How has married life been?

Mr:  Great. I am happy I married my dream girl.

Mrs:  So far, so good. It’s been great.

Nancita: What was your greatest culture shock?

Mr:  I can’t really say. I think I was able to prepare my mind for a lot of things. And my wife makes things a lot easier.

Mrs:  Mine is that I have had a decline in the number of friends I used to have. That was my own shock o.

Nancita: What got better when you got married?

Mr: Na 4 months we dey. We still dey observe each other.

Mrs: Haha…same reply.

Nancita: What do you enjoy doing together the most?

Mr:  Walking.

Mrs: We take long strolls together. It’s the most beautiful thing we get to do.

Nancita: Do you miss being single? If yes, what do you miss?

Mr:    Not really.

Mrs:  I miss having to crush on Jonathan Mc Reynolds…hahaha (that’s a joke)

I think I don’t quite miss anything.

Nancita: What does love and submission mean to you?

Mr:  They are equal, and they co-exist. We had to first learn both in our relation to other believers. But now in the context of marriage, the wife was instructed to submit because there has to be one leader. 

Mrs: I go with what my husband has said. And I'll that love is commitment. Commitment to what you ought to do despite how you feel.

Nancita: How do you navigate challenges?

Mr:  This our marriage young o…

Ermm, I will say that I have learnt not to worry over what I cannot really change. If it can be worked on, we work on it. If not, we leave it where it is until it can be worked on.

Mrs: The marriage is quite young like he said. But what I do is put myself in his shoes. Try to articulate the matter and decide how to deal with it.

Nancita: Write a love note to her:

Thank you for loving me genuinely. This love comes with no pressure, and that makes it an even bigger blessing. Thank God for making it work, but also thank you for the role that you’ve played. 

Nancita: Write a love note to him: 

Baby, thank you for making this so peaceful. You have such a large heart and how you understand me baffles me a lot. I love you. Thanks for making this easy.

Nancita: What is your advice for singles and intending couples?

Mr:  I will go with what my wife says…

Mrs:  Haha…that's a set-up

First, enjoy your singlehood. Take the time to develop yourself.

Secondly, understand that your partner is unique in their own way. Learn to deal with them that way; don’t compare them with any other person.

Lastly, the Holy Spirit is your helper. 

Thank you for sharing this with us. If you missed the previous episode, it's not too late to catch up on it. Click here to do so. Until the next episode, stay safe.

Love and Light,

Nancita✨